From: The Universal Songster, or
The Season of Mirth (published: 1834)
A Bull in a China-Shop
(author unknown)
You’ve heard of a frog in an opera-hat,
‘Tis a very old tale of a mouse and a rat,
I could sing you another, as pleasant mayhap,
Of a kitten that wore a fine high-caul’d cap,
But my muse on a far nobler subject shall drop,
A bull who got into a china-shop.
With his right leg, left leg, upper leg, under leg,
Patrick’s day in the morning.
He popp’d in by chance at the china-shop door,
Where they very soon found that the bull was a bore;
The shopman to drive him out tried with much care,
The floor being covered with crockery-ware;
And among it, resenting the shopman’s taunt,
The bull began dancing the cow’s carrant.
With his right leg, left leg, upper leg, under leg,
Patrick’s day in the morning.
Whate’er with his feet he couldn’t assail
He made ducks and drakes with his horns and his tail,
So frisky he was, with his downs and his ups,
Each tea-service proved he was quite in his cups:
He play’d mag’s diversion among all the crates;
He splinter’d the dishes, and dish’d all the plates,
With his right leg, left leg, upper leg, under leg,
Patrick’s day in the morning.
The china shop master, a little fat man,
Popp’d in, and the bull at him furiously ran,
Caught him by the waistband without more ado,
And toss’d him completely the shop window through;
The poor little fat man flew up like a dart,
And down he came plump in a scavenger’s cart.
With his right leg, left leg, upper leg, under leg,
Patrick’s day in the morning.
The poor china shop seller, retriev’d this affray,
But his neighbours laugh at him to this very day;
He has a nick-name, for derision a mark,
For they, one and all, call him the little mud lark;
While the joke he enjoys, grateful for the relief;
But from that time to this he can’t stomach bull-beef,
With his right leg, left leg, upper leg, under leg,
Patrick’s day in the morning.
